MANAGEMENT OF BEHAVIOUR PROBLEMS IN YOUNG CHILDREN
Avoid sudden changes in activities. Give your child some time to effect a transition rather than taking him by surprise. If you want him to come in for dinner, don’t suddenly uemanu mat ne drop everyming anu come lmmeuiateiy, men get angry ir he doesn’t do it. Tell him that it is almost dinnertime, and that in 5 minutes he will have to stop playing and come and sit at the dinner table.
Make sure you and your partner are in agreement. Young children are expert at playing one parent off against the other. Work out your rules and strategies, and support each other in sticking to them.
Decide what the rules are in advance, and make sure your child knows them too. The limits of acceptable behaviour may vary according to the parents and the individual attributes of the child. It is very difficult to be prescriptive. Make sure that the limits are reasonable, and focus on behaviours that are dangerous to the well-being of the child, or that you find intolerable. Make sure also that the limits are broad enough to allow your child some freedom. Avoid putting yourself in a situation where you are continually saying no.
Be consistent. While nobody can be consistent all the time and in every single situation, try to keep in mind that consistency about rules makes it more likely that the child will learn what the rules are too. Conversely, children will become confused in the face of inconsistency, and their behaviour may get worse. This is because they may feel insecure and need to continue to test limits in order to reassure themselves that they exist. The perceived absence of rules and limits is very scary for young children.
Be matter of fact about discipline. Don’t scream or lose your temper. Talk to your child in a calm, direct way. Stand or sit close to him, make eye contact whenever possible, and speak to him clearly and simply.
Do not threaten your child with long-term consequences. To be threatened with not being allowed to go swimming with his father on the weekend is meaningless for a young child. Suggest short-term consequences of his continued disobedience — ‘If you don’t stop that now, I’ll put you straight in your room’.
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Tags: General health