AROUSAL: WHAT TURNS US ON?
Sight This plays a greater role in arousing men than women, but a woman may take advantage of this by making herself as visually attractive as possible, with a properly made-up face, flattering clothes, and by ensuring that her movements – such as when undressing – are pleasing to watch. The eyes are supposed to be the windows of the soul, so it is very common to see lovers gazing intently into each other’s eyes, oblivious of everything else around them.
Hearing This contributes much, too, which is why music, played quietly and at the right moment, can be highly exciting for both men and women. We become excited when we hear our beloved approaching, his or her laugh and particularly his or her voice. Some men and some women have very beautiful voices, and are aware of their seductive effects. A man may have a warm, velvety voice whose every modulation has the power to move a woman’s heart. A good voice used well is a caress. A telephone call may simulate an act of love and be as potent as any form of foreplay. The opposite pertains, too, of course, and some women’s voices literally drive men mad.
Touch Small touches, even accidental touches, have an enormous effect on everyone. We all need touch very badly. We find it relaxing and reassuring, and it helps us to loosen up our inhibitions. Sometimes the greatest intimacy and the most acute closeness can come from simply touching and holding. Most of us have had experiences where dancing has been highly erotic, involving the rhythmical contact of two bodies. Dancing can be pure foreplay – try dancing cheek to cheek, hand in hand, breasts against a man’s chest, pelvis against pelvis, legs slightly apart, thighs brushing each other, sexual organs pressed together – all of which simulate sexual contact. The potent mixture of sight and sound created by movement, light and music only adds to the effect.
Taste A delicious meal accompanied by fine wine often puts a couple in a good mood and lowers their inhibitions so they are more inclined to make love. Talk over a meal, soft lighting, and the ritual of eating, can be very seductive, and lovers feel that there is a metaphor between eating and deriving emotional nourishment from a partner’s body.
Smell Women like wearing scent and men like smelling it but it can have a much greater effect than a woman ever thinks – especially when her body is warm; the scent evaporates and body smells mingle with the perfume, acting as a powerful stimulant. Coco Chanel once said that a woman should scent her body wherever she expects to be kissed, and with the array of scents available, both partners would delight in this. Women probably have the strongest preference for the unadulterated smell of a man’s skin, which in itself is very exciting, but as a way of showing interest, most wouldn’t mind if their partners used some aftershave.
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Tags: Men’s Health